Wednesday, December 17, 2014

I Am a Mess in Need of a Savior

This particular post has been on my heart for over a week! I have started it several times. Last week specifically I felt disingenuous about writing it. I could not write this post until it took hold of my heart. I could not write this post without it soaking into my Spirit. I felt God speaking to me so strongly, but it took time to get it, really get it.

It is a lifelong struggle to keep our eyes on Christ. It is a daily struggle to not let the things of the world cloud our vision of Him. However, lately it isn't really the things of the world getting to me, however there is so much to be distracted and discouraged by. Lately, it is the things of my world that have been troubling me most. It is my laundry, the dishes in my sink, mounds of work that needs to be done, my expectations of myself that are overwhelming my vision. At times all I can see is what is in front of me. I feel like a huge mess! I am a huge hot mess!

God has really been convicting me not to focus on what is going on around me and let that dictate how I feel. He doesn't want me to dwell on the ants invading my bathroom or the cat knocking over a cup of water. He doesn't want me to get down over the messy areas of my life!

For Advent, I have been reading from the "Jesus Storybook Bible." At the end of each story it ties the theme back to Jesus. In each reading it emphasizes the world's need for a Savior. Through each struggle, each situation, each triumph, each victory, each loss, no matter the situation, the world needs Jesus. It has been so precious for me to read this with my kids and be reminded of my own need for Jesus. I am truly a mess in need of a Savior. My life will never be perfect, I will never be perfect. Things won't go as planned, things won't be easy, things won't be what I would like for them to be at all times. I am so thankful for Jesus. As it gets closer to Christmas I am so looking forward to celebrating His coming into this messy world and redeeming it unto Himself! He redeemed me and called me by name! I am bound to need this message over and over again in my life, but for now my eyes are on Him and not the mess!

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:18

Friday, December 05, 2014

Giving In-But, Not In the Way You Think

I apologize for not posting for awhile! I took the week of Thanksgiving off and lots going on this week too! My time has been so tight this week! Seriously felt like there seriously aren't enough hours in each day!

I have more to do everyday than can possibly get done and not near enough energy to do it either! I wake up each day with a plan and hope to check off all my items on my mental to do list. My day starts off early getting Titus off to school and goes on from there! Breakfast, cleaning, homeschooling, more cleaning, lunches, more homeschooling, errands, more cleaning, getting Titus off the bus, and did I mention the cleaning and even with all the cleaning my house is still a mess. It is a never ending pile in my mind and I desire so badly for that pile to be lightened! I can get tunnel visioned and in a frenzy to do it all and rush through the day. This drive however can make me miss important and valuable time with my kids. I really have to make myself hit the pause button on the ruthless inner struggle to get it all done and be present in the moment! When Liam ask me to watch him do a silly jump of the couch onto a pillow below, I watch. When Chase is singing and dancing to the theme song to "Paw Patrol" I stop and sing along! Justice pulls me aside to watch an Auburn youtube video I stop what I am doing and join in with him. Titus practically takes me out with a huge bear hug and I pick him up, all nearly 70 lbs. of him and embrace the moment! These are truly the moments that matter and count and I wouldn't miss them for the world or checking off a box in my head. I don't always take these opportunities and I pray God slows my mind down because I don't want to miss the chance He has given me to enjoy the gifts my boys are! I have the glorious privilege to be their mother and enjoy the sweet childhood moments of mispronouncing words, singing off key, making funny faces, imagination, and loving their momma! I don't want to be any where else than in these moments! I am giving in!